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Uncle Grump

Cause Friday is Valentines Day......

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Uncle Grump

I thought I'd post this little gem.....


Big Bubbas' Ode to his Valentine

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler
racin' through the mud,
yet fragile as that sanger
named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt .

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old
like a '57 Chevy,
I won't put you on blocks
and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!

Luv from yor'e romeo,
Big Bubba!

PS...Can I borrow yor'e new troll'n motor next weekend luvy duvy?


smile.gifsmile.gif

UG

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Valv

That was good U.G. !!!!

I immediately forwarded to my wife's work as my Valentine card !!!


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Crawlerman

lol.

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fishinphyl

Too funny! But I sure hope Valv does not think he will be fishing this summer unless he adds some roses to this valentine. grin.gif

------------------
Phyl

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Valv

Roses ? Which are they ? I just go down to the Kwik Trip and get what they have colored there !!! grin.gif

If you think watching people loading/unloading at he ramp is funny, try to sit inside a flower shop today and see all the faces and expressions men customers have...it's too funny. The shop owner hears only 1 thing..cha-chinng, overprice the suckkkers !!!! Roses cost almost like a trolling motor today !!!!

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brian6715

The Grumpster strikes again! After reading that, i am glad i am not married yet! I feel for you guys though...
Brian

I once saw a one armed man stretch his arm out and say "he was this big!"

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