Fishin report for Lake Iwanttobethere..

[Bobby Bass]

Well now that open water is closing down and we are in the lull between that and hard water fishin I thought it would be a good time to start my fishing reports from a small lake just north of the bobber, hook, line and sinker chain up here in the north country. I am sure that many of you have never heard of this lake but it is out there. It is a rather large lake and there are several small towns that dot it's shoreline. I am sure you have see buses that are on there way there. Charter, End of the Line and Garage only are just some. Red Green is said to have a cabin there along with the mayor of Garage Logic. It's an interesting lake to say the least, Loopers are working the far shore and Eyes are being caught near the dam. A large Muskie was reported off the main reed bed and Bass are still hitting on top. The local bait shop reported the deer hunting contest is in a tie with three 28 pointers and that is in the bow division. As a side note the owner of the bait shop announced that he had to raise the price of gas this past weekend to 109.9 but hopes it will fall after the rush of duck hunters leave the area. Today's weather is to be a sunny 59 south winds gusting to 5 and before we leave today we were asked to remind all that the law about lawn mowers and hammers will be enforced throughout the weekend. Have a nice day and if you get a chance come on out to Lake Iwanttobethere I'll bet some of you have cabins here....

[FOOT]

I tried to get a cabin on Lake Iwanttobethere but the cabins and/or land were far too expensive for me to afford.

Oh, I could have got a 100' of shoreline on the north side but there was no beach and I would have had to build a rather steep set of stairs to get from the bluff down to the water so I passed.

I have it on good authority the little old lady that lives in the fire engine red cabin next to the Lodge Pole Resort is just about ready to kick the bucket. I have talked to her sons and since they live in Kansas and California neither one is interested in keeping the cabin.

I've actually invited them up to see a Vikings game (don't know if that's bad or good, but they both accepted). Course I had to use some frequent flyer miles to get them NW airline tickets but hey the way I figure it, is the more I can become friends with these 2 guys the better the chances of getting the cabin at a reasonable price. Anyone know of a good restaurant in Mpls that would impress these 2 guys.

I thought about taking them to Cheap Charlies here in Rochester.

[Bobby Bass]

Foot, friendly Reed the Realtor down by the narrows has a line on several nice lots on the lake here, some of them have a nice view of the bluff you were speaking of. I must warn you though he is a avid supporter on the ban of Purple cabins along the lake shore. Was a nice day here as I am looking out over the lake at the sunset and I can see the mobile Porky's houseboat out by the island. Seems to be a number of other houseboats tied up to it this evening. Of course it being Friday night and most of the high school football players are out on the town. Here at Lake Iwanttobethere we get kind of busy on a Friday night. Back a few weeks ago some of them Minnesota Vikings wanted to rent the Porky's houseboat. But changed their mind when they saw some of the waitress who also worked the day shift at the lumber yard. Well I see I am getting the signal from across the lake here so I have to sign off so some one else can use their computer on the party dial up line we have here. Have a good weekend..

[Bobby Bass]

Woke up to a loud bang rolling across Lake Iwanttobethere this morning. Seems the rich folk from Mpls in their glass cabin on top of Look Out Bluff were out early this morning pulling up their dock. Since they are new to the lake and just had their cabin built this past summer they are still working on a way of removing their dock from the water. Well it seems that they took the elevator down the hill to the waters edge and then tied the dock on to the spring board that they have on the elevator. I guess they were going to haul it back up the side of the bluff with that. But the dock was heaver then they had planned and when they got about have way back up the bluff the spring on the springboard sprung and shot the dock out into the lake. Our local officer saw this and issued a citation for adding structure to the lake with out a permit. The good part is now we have money in the lake fund to help off set the all shore lunch at Thanksgiving... Looks like snow today and some strong winds, Guess the flock of pink flamingos will be moving again..

[Bobby Bass]

Well another nice day here at Lake Iwanttobethere I did hear a mention of some snow and mostly rain and high winds but that was away from the lake here. It was sunny and mild all day here and you could see your reflection along with the bright red Maple leafs floating on the calm slack water of the bays. The only thing breaking the peaceful quiet was the sound of TVs and the cheers of them Viking scoring touchdowns drifting across the water. All and all a pretty quiet weekend here on the lake. Some deer hunting go on in the woods off the South end of the lake and I think there may be a few Grouse being fried up along with some walleye fillets down at the Johnson's. Their boys were out this afternoon hunting and wetting a line as they are soccer fans. Hammering Hank the lake's handyman was by today. Seems he was up at the Bluff giving a estimate for replacing that dock that was launched into the lake. I did notice when I was at the bait shop getting some wrappers that the dock is already marked on the map for anyone who wants to update theirs. Well I hope you have had a good weekend, going to just sit back here on the deck and enjoy the sunset. Good thing we are not on that daylight saving thing as it is just getting dark here now at 6 Wonder if Green Bay has lost yet?

[FOOT]

Bobby, happy to hear about Reed The Realtor heading up the "ban the purple cabin campaign". I do watch the Vikings every now and then (usually the first 5 minutes). After that I wake up and get busy with something worth while.

I must admit I've never fished Lake Iwantotbethere so before I get really serious about buying a cabin can you tell me how the fishing is, both summer and winter? I'd also like to know about the availability of hunting on the lake and the surrounding land. Just driving around it appears to be fairly good woods and a couple of nice shallow rice lakes close by.

I also have one other major concern.

Since my wife is not the outdoors type and plans on spending as little time as possible at the cabin, is there enough for me to do by myself to keep me busy.

In others words how close is the nearest package store?

Do any of the guys up there like to get together for a round of poker and cigars every now and then? 4-5 times a week would be about all the time I could set aside.

How handy is Hammerin Hank? I can always come up with something that needs to be done and don't want it to comflict with my fishing/hunting. Ya know you have to get your priorities straight and bring home the bacon. Also will HH pull and install my dock for me?

Can you tell me what the hours are for the You Bet 'Em Casino? Not that I frequent them often but I hear they have great buffets.

Well enough questions for now. Opps one more I want to verify Reed The Realtor's phone number, I think you said it was 555-screwyu or 555-727-3998, correct?

[Bobby Bass]

Hello Foot well I will try and answer some of your questions here but I was not ready to send off such a long post this morning. I have a pretty tight schedule here as I get up every morning and walk out on the dock to get the morning paper from our paperboy who trolls the lake as he drops off the paper every morning. The mail is done the same way later in the afternoon. I will try and answer some of your question now. Hammering Hank is really not that good of a carpenter he does do a really good job of hammering them down at the Dew Drop Inn every evening. He would be the guy to talk with about a good evening smoker as he is almost never seen with out one hanging from his lips. It can be quite funny watching him trying to lite his hammer handle when he has had a few to many, usually about 10pm or so. The You Bet'Em Casino is open 24 hrs on Saturday and every holiday Since it is just Ma and Pa Willow and they are retired they kind of limit their hours. And they do have one of the finest road kill buffets in the county! You might think twice about bring your wife up to visit, the ladies do have a real nice quilters circle going. Or so I have been told. Hammering Hank says that they meet in a different cabin every week and he usually gets a call the next day for fixing sinks and putting out houses back in their proper places. He also says he makes a few extra dollars selling the fancy wine bottle that he finds scattered in the bushes... Fishing... well you will have to tell me what you are looking for here on Lake Iwanttobethere.. We have some of the finest fishing anywhere and I can go on and on about the hunting.. Well have to run now dang paperboy looks like he has one on and he just hit the neighbors dock if I don't get down there I won't get my paper..

[FOOT]

Bobby, sounds like a place I want to explore more.

Maybe you and I can get together some weekend in the near future and you can introduce me around to some of the locals. I think it's important to get to know your neighbors before you actually buy just in case you run into an unfriendly cuss.

Hank seems to be like every other handy man I've run into. They're handy at drinking you beer, eatin your jerky and spendin your money. But hey, they are fun to have around.

Hope you got your paper ok, was it local or one of those big city rag sheets?

[Bobby Bass]

Foot, It's a local paper that is just published every other day. Things are as you might have guess pretty relaxed up here and if it is good news it travels fast by word of mouth and if it is bad it can just wait another day. I do get the big city paper in the afternoon mail but I am usually to busy to read it but it does make the mailman Mark have to stop everyday. Mark is pretty special as he has the rural route and then he does have his own sawmill and makes some really nice blanks for carving wood lures. As a matter of fact there is a winter contest here that you can enter your hand carved lures. Last year Walter from down in the narrows won but was later disqualified when he could not prove his last name was Walmart. Seems a sticker was found on the bottom of his hand carved ceder lure. I did notice on my Pontoon ride this afternoon that the Fire engine Red cabin has a for sale sign up on the lake side. Guess you have sparked some interest in the sons. Local radio is talking about some snow storm heading this way but I still see across the lake that the widow Hess is still hanging her sheets out to dry so it must not be to serious. Or it is a signal that she wants Hammering Hank to stop by tonight. Yes Foot I think you might like it her on Lake Iwanttobehere we have a new Walmart and a White Castle and even talk of a Home Depot coming in soon. Of course you have to take the ferry across with your supplies. Lot of building going on here in the winter as the best way is to use the ice to bring in your building materials. Some day they are talking about running the road all the way around the lake but that would interfere with the duck blinds and deer stands. If you like I can have Reed the Realtor contact you or even better I can bring up your name at the next town hall meeting, Of course I don't know where the town hall will be this next meeting as it is on a trailer right now.

[FOOT]

Bobby, happy to hear about the White Castle going in up there. It's one of my favor places to eat. The wife won't go there with me so I have to grab a bag on the way to poker or the game. Trouble there is the waiting lines for the biffy at the games can be quite long, and as they say "You only rent WC's you don't own them".

I'm also VERY interested in the hand carved wooden lure catagory. I started to carve my own lures about 30 years ago when I went fishing on Lake Michigan for Salmon. At first I copied the world famous J-Plug which I made out of bass wood. Figured bass was close to salmon, them both being fish, so I had that going for me. They worked pretty well but I did have to spend some time fine tuning each lure. And if a salmon broke a line my fishing partners would get pretty upset with me while I motored around looking for my hand made lure.

I am currently making some muskie lures as well as some smaller popper for bass and gills. Cute little things.

Dang those boys, I believe their last name is Hykineusinbar or some other Finish name. They told me they would give me first crack at the cabin before it went on the open market. Sounds like Reed really went to town and talked them in to listing the cabin.

Well Bobby, got to go for now the boss is looking over my shoulder and screaming something about a dead line and I didn't know he was a fisherman.

As my grandson's are want to say, Peace Out, and then they run outside with the Pumpkin Pie. Kids.

[nytelyter]

is the John Deere Green cabin still there on the west side? darndest thing happened to me there about four years ago. i was rope pulling the atwater 4horse on the back of the boat and it fell into the lake right in front of that place. was out there with a body drag for three of the following evenings and never did latch onto it. was a long swim home,pulling the boat, as i did not have a paddle in the boat. never had a need for it. dang motor always started on the first pull. guess i should have checked those screw thingys that hold the motor on the back of the boat. does anyone know what the chain hanging from the motor was for? never did figger that one out.

[Bobby Bass]

Foot, I hope you give Reed a call about the cabin as they don't last long here on the open market. Even though Lake Iwanttobethere is a very well kept secret a lot of people do have cabins here and a few winter over all year long. Your retirement check can really go far here. Prices are low and the hunting and fishing can keep game on your table year round. I am sure there are others who read these posts and are not saying anything. There is another cabin up for sale on the far end of the lake but I don't know if you would be interested in it or not. Hard to miss as it is Pink and the flamingos usually call it home. Quite a site to see in the fall when the geese come in and even more interesting to see what hatches in the Spring. I suppose you could try and paint it. It does have a lot of glass and good southern exposure. That guy from Miami Vice owned it for a few seasons and kind of kept the grass shaggy and half cut. O I almost forgot Reed left me a note saying that if you want when the first snowstorm hits he can hook you up with Frank from the township who plows. You can do a ride along if you like. Will give you a way to peek at every ones cabin. Of course you will have to ride on the cab of the grader but the view is better from there. Well here comes the morning paper have to get down to the dock. Young lad had a 22# northern on yesterday morning, hardly worth the effort of dragging a spoon around he said..

[Bobby Bass]

So you are the one! We were wondering who if anyone was going to claim that Atwater it's down at the bait shop. Paper boy was trolling and snagged it two years ago thought it was a fishing lure that someone had lost and brought it to the bait shops lost and found. Thought it was to small to be a real motor. John Deer cabin is of course still there kind of hard to see in the summer but now that the leaves are down you can see it.

[nytelyter]

GOTTA LOVE IT i will be sure to stop there and pick it up. how badly am i going to get ribbed for it? or should i wait till just before the shop closes and slip in and out with it? oh well anyways, it will be great to get it back on the fire engine red,wooden duck boat i had it on. thank you for the info. by the way as i was told... the story on the john deere green place is that the owners are nudists and the camo is so they dont draw attention to them when they are gardening. thats what i was told anyways.

[FOOT]

I'ved tried to cal Reed a couple of times but he's been out of the office each time. I did have a nice conversation with his secretary Ms. Bodensteiner. Trouble was it was very difficult to hear her what with all of the clinking of glass and loud music. She apologized saying while locating an office inside a bar saves money on rent it sure does make it difficult to conduct business. She also said that if I was coming up to give her a call first and she would bring her pickup camper and we could talk in the camper. That is of course unless my wife comes along as there just isn't enough room for 3 people in her camper, unless we really want to give it a try.

Pink huh? Well one of the "guys" here at work might be interested. I suppose I could always paint it or hire Hammerin Hank to paint it. Since it was owned by the Miami Vice star I would imagine there could be some tourist interest. Maybe rent it out on the weekends I don't plan on being up there. Don't worry about the grass I'll probably just burn it a little at a time.

I like the idea about a ride along with Frank the plowboy.

I've ridden with my brother Jimmy the cop and a friend who works for Brownberry Bread but a ride on a plow would be fantastic. Would there be a good reason for me to bring along a camera or are most of the houses set back from the roads?

Also, could you set up a meeting between me and the widow woman, I forget her name. Since my wife would not be spending as much time as myself at the cabin I'd like to have someone come in and clean and maybe even cook a meal or two. How old is she and what does she look like? I want to make sure she can handle everything I'd give her.

Her comes the boss again. Better sign off before he notices what I'm doing. I think I need to move closer to Bambi, one of the girls in the office, everytime he talks to her he seems to forget about everyone else.

[Bobby Bass]

Foot as you made well know a lot of the business around here rests on the few locals we have and the summer trade. Ms Bodensteiner was at one time a waitress at Porkys before she went to work part time for Reed now she is a part owner of the "Watering Hole" Never have seen her camper/office but I hear she gets over 150,000 miles on a set of tires. The John Deere cabin is a kind of mystery as it does have a tall wood fence down both sides right up to the high water mark, really have to get your boat just right to look up the lot. We are really getting state of the art here I was at Marv's this afternoon for a little lunch and we were talking about the new telephone line that is coming in next spring. It is going to double our phone lines and we are pretty proud of that. I did hear that them MPLS people have some kind of phone up there on the bluff that they can just talk into it and they don't need any wires at all. Of course we don't see to much of them, they pretty much keep to themselves up there. There once was a fire tower up there but it kept on getting hit by lightning. We have a board going on at the bait shop as to when the MPLS people will get hit..I see in the afternoon paper that the Packers won and so did them Vikings guess that coach Tice will not be coming up here anytime soon, still has his job I guess. Well time to go down to the only dinner club we have here, kind of a formal affair tonight you have to wear at least one shoe. Seems a deer was donated and some of the local and a few of the late summer guests are going to go down and have a sit down dinner. There will be a silent auction for Mikie, of course he is deaf but he still likes to hold up his finger to bid. New phone book is out today, We like to look through it together, see if your name is in it or not. Good way to meet people to. The widow Hess might even be there but if Hammering Hank is not then we have a good idea where they both are.

[Bobby Bass]

OK time for the fishing report. Even thought there is a storm a brewing there is still time for plenty of good fishing here at Lake Iwanttobethere. On my way home tonight from the sit down dinner which I was the lucky winner of a 1972 shister ( I have no idea what a shister is but will find out when it is delivered next week ) I had the winning bid when I threw up my arms trying to stop a sneeze.. Anyway as I was saying I was on my way home when I saw Marc's towing and Lawn Service parked on the side of the road with the rear end pointed out in the lake. I thought he was in trouble but then I noticed he had the 3/16th cable hooked to a tether ball about 30 yards off shore and I knew right away he was just doing some evening shore fishing. He only had one bite so far and had already lost the wife's Thanksgiving ham so he had the goose out and was hoping he would catch something so his would not be cooked. I wished him good luck and continued on my way. It's raining some here now and a good chance of snow Am hoping to get home in time to set up to watch them MPLS folk on the bluff and see if I can win the pool. The way the weather gal is talking we might have to close the books on soft water and start talking about hard water fishing. I am sure I can put you on a few of our hot spots and keep you off the boiling deep water springs. I got that there weather bug on my desktop and it is a tweeting away at me. Took me almost 2 years to find out what that noise was. Would hear that thing go off and search all over the cabin trying to find the trapped bird. O well You guys let me know what kind of fish you are looking for and I'll do my best to clue you to where they are at here on the lake.

[FOOT]

Bobby, I was happy to hear about the new telephone line coming to your

neck of the woods. As a telecommunications specialist I feel it is very

important to have good service available, especially if a call to the local

Dr. is needed. Speaking of the local Dr. I understand that your local guy,

Dr. Burriem, is having a birthday the end of the week. Is there any type of

celebration scheduled to honor his 73 years on this earth? If there is I might

just want to stop by and say Hi and meet/greet all of the local folks. I’ve

also been having problem with, well lets just say it’s a male problem, and

leave it at that. Maybe the good Dr. can help me out, the ones here at

Mayo say it’s all in my head but it’s the other end I’m worried about.

Too bad I got your post so late. I like auctions and I probably would have

something I could donate. Such as a fork once used by Mick Tinglehoff,

any old Viking fan knows who he is. We were at the same Denny’s

restaurant once in Mpls and when he was done I was lucky enough to

grab the fork. Some little blue haired old lady beat me to the spoon and

knife otherwise I’d have all 3 and then they would really be worth something.

I also have a couple old paper cups and towels used by the 1964 Gopher

football team that I could have donated, now that would have brought in

some coin.

Let me clue you in on what a SHISTER is. It’s a small spinner with a

wooden body, a few feathers and one forward airplane blade. They are

fantastic. Whatever you paid for it was not enough. I once used a Shister

to catch 11 different species in on float trip down the Zumbro. They were

walleye, sauger, largemouth, smallmouth, white bass, crappie, northern,

channel cat, sucker, sheephead and carp. A record that still stands to this

day. I also caught my fishing partner Delbert but we won’t go into that,

he still seems to tense up when I dig through my tackle box a tie one on.

I like the black polka dots on a white background.

I nearly forgot to ask, how is the launch area on the lake? I’ve got a

19 foot dual hull GoFast Supreme with a 175 Yamaguchi. Is that going

to be too big a boat for the lake and/or ramp? I realize the lake isn’t

too big but I do like to get where I’m going. Time lost fishing is time

lost fishing.

Do you ever mess with the MPLS people? It’s been my experience they

are pretty high strung and the least little thing will set them off. Since its

deer season it might be a good idea to go sit on their porch in your

blaze orange outfit and gun. When they wake up and see you there

just tell them to bring you a cup of coffee and you’ll be fine. Better

yet ask for one of them fancy drinks like a Lattee or Capachino and you’ll

probably be invited in for breakfast.

Well there is a whole bunch of other things you can do but I don’t want

to overload you with ideas. Bye for now.

[Bobby Bass]

Hmmmm maybe I won 72 Shisters not a 1972 going to have to get back to you on that one. Well let me see here the landing/ramp. Well we do things a tad different out here. We have a 1954M tractor with the keys in it that is parked to the side of the landing. If you should get stuck feel free to use the tractor to get back out. Your boat is kind of on the small side but I guess it would be ok to hunt ducks out of and if you stay close to shore you should be ok. I can't really tell you how big or small Lake Iwanttobehere is as I have never been to the other shoreline. Every time I take the Puddlehumper out for a spin I just keep going around the corner and another bay is there. But the good part is that every bay has a different kind of fish in it. Sometimes it is hard to find the bay that you are looking for that is why guiding here is so tuff. the MPLS cabin people are a tad different, they have them there phones with no wires and some on the lakes think they have something to do with aliens. A foolish thought I know but there does see to be a lot of flashing lights up there on the bluff and sometimes when the night is still and the air clear you can see a big picture like a drive in theater on the side of their cabin. I have no idea what that is. Dr. Burriem is a very special fellow, a lot of the kids around here call him dad for some reason. I find it surprising that you know so much about him. Have you been talking with Reed's secretary again?

[FOOT]

OK I confess I have been talking to Reed's secretary, in fact more then a couple of times. I wish she had e-mail so it would be easier but she said even the new phone line won't be able to handle e-mail. Right now if she wants to send me e-mail she writes down what she wants to say, puts it in an envelope, mails it via US Mail to her sister in Mountain Iron who can then open it and send it to me via her e-mail. Molly (Reed's secretary) says she'd do that but she never gets a reply from the guys she sends e-mail too but her sister sure has a lot of dates.

I went back and re-read my last post and found out I gave you some miss-information. I listed my GoFast as a 19 footer when I should have said a 49 footer with Quad 175 Yamaguchi 7's instead of just one. The nice part about the Yamaguchi's is that if they break down all you have to do is engage the YPS (Yamaguchi Position System) located on the left side of each motor. This sends a signal directly to Yamaguchi in Japan and a relief helicopter full of technicians is dispatched to your location. This sounds great but how would you like 17 little Japanese people running all over your boat and none of them speak English. You never know when they are done or if it's fixed or not

[Bobby Bass]

OK that is a much better boat for Lake I wanttobethere. We do have a local marine guy here who can pretty much fix anything including that fuel injector cleaner fuel what ever you call it thingie. I hear the MPLS people were down at the Marine a few weeks ago with a sail boat and they were complaining that the could not get her to move along at what they were told she would do. After Barney remove the trailer there was a marked improvement in performance. Next town meeting is going to be Monday the week of Thanksgiving Since I am kind of on the inside I got hold of the topic for discussion list... New phone line, what do to with the money from the MPLS dock launching fine, Porkys is looking into an Ice sled pontoon party barge for the winter months, Question regarding two cabins that are now up for sale and a surprise party for Dr. Burriem ( which will be three days after his b-day ) You are more then welcome to attend and I found out that the trailer with the town meeting house will be parked in the Dew Drop Inn parking lot for the winter ( cuz it has a flat tire ) Looking forward to meeting you as I will be there and if it's ok with you I may need a ride there..

[FOOT]

Bobby, I'll bet the MPLS people had a full roller trailer rather then the more bouyant wooden bunk trailer. Everyone knows the bunk trailer is going to give you more lift and therefore better performance. With a roller trailer you MUST remove the boat before a day of pleasure sailing the open seas/lake.

I think I saw just the thing for Porky's Party Barge. It made of old P51 Mustang wing fuel drop tanks, 1x6's, a 1964 Chevy 283 engine and 2 giant round saw blades. The blades are attached via an axel and is chain driven off the 283. Porky's would have to build a frame and roof on it but the bed/floor is 42 1/2 feet long by 11 feet wide so there would be plenty of room. The owner is a local eccentric snowmobile builder wantabe living just north of Moose Lake.

The only problem I've seen with the Scooter (that's what Ed calls it, Ed is the designer and builder) is, if the ice is too thin, 6 inches or less, the blades cut through the ice leaving a long area of open water. When Ed use to put it on Bleedin Heart Lake there would always be a bunch of open water fishermen lined up to follow along and troll for walleye. Not that Ed minded that so much but not once did they offer to chip in for gas or invite him to a walleye dinner.

I would be honored to attend the next town meeting, I think I'll be able to attend. I've put the new suburban away for the winter so I'll be driving the Jitney. Just sos you know, the Jitney is a home built 4 wheel drive vehicle I use during winter months. It is build on a 1978 Cadillac frame with Ford running gears and transmission. It is powered by a 1961 Lincoln V12 engine and has room for 11 men and 3 small boys. I also have installed Bose speakers to my eight track tape palyer so I can get the best reporduction I can find.

I'd be happy to give you a lift. I'll contact yu in a day or so and let you know if I can make it.

[Bobby Bass]

Had a little supper down at the Sundown Cafe last night I like to go there and catch up on the local news from some of the older guys. If I get there right at closing time the owner Gus will pull the drapes and stick up the cardboard Closed sign in the door and then a few of the boys and I will finish up what ever was today's special. Yesterday it was Lake Trout stuffed with Grouse with a side dish of Apple Pie and hot cider with a little something extra added to it. Well anyway I think your name Foot came up a few times. I just kind of sat back and listen as the man called Mr. Foot was talked about between slabs of trout and slices of hot apple pie. Some think you are a Fed with all the questions you have been asking around town. Phone calls in the middle of the afternoon and such and you know with the party line here you never know who else is on the line listening. Lots of questions about Reed who was not there last night but Hammering Hank was and he said he never heard of you but that in a moment of passion the Widow Hess was said to have yelled out your name..But he didn't really think much about it at the time cuz she yelled out hip and elbow later. Dr. Burriem between sips of cider said he looked back in his little black book and could see nothing in it that related him to you but had heard that Molly was acting a little funny serving drinks the other night while she was on the phone. One of the sons of Ms. Kate who owns the fire engine red cabin was heard muttering to himself at the hardware store when he picked up 3 gallons of bright red paint that he and his brother were going to make a killing. I didn't say anything the trout was to good and of course the price was right besides I thought it would be better when you show up at the Town meeting. Well have to go down and get the paper I see there is a tad of ice around the edges of Lake Iwanttobethere this morning. Have a good morning Foot.

[IFallsRon]

Is that lake near Lake Ionlywishiknewitsname?

[FOOT]

Bobby, well please inform the community that I am no longer a FED. Now don't let that scare you.

Shortly after I got out of the military I was living and working in MPLS. I was working at UNITROM at the time and one of the guys (Chey) on my shift was very private about his lie outside of work.

Just prior to a big anti-war rally on the UofM I was approached by a government agency (I'm not sure if it was CIA or FBI or someone else). Anyway, they asked me to attend the rally and watch Chey and remember who he met and what was said as he was a founding father of the NDS (Norweigens for a Democratic Society). They were a

para-military group that was advocating an end to the war in Vietnam, or at least not sending any more Norweigens.

I of course being a good American and a Vet and mor Irish and German then Norski said YES immediately. Unfortunately I had little to report as Chey met with several people but the conversation shortly degenerated to Lefsa and hot dish receipies.

The one reason I'm taking so long in purchasing a cabin and asking so many questions and meeting with Molly and Widow Hess is to get a good picute of the community. As I'm sure you are aware good neighbors are the important part of the mix. Everything else can be altered to a satisfactoy conclusion.

Please don't tell the local population that I have already visited the area several times to get the lay of the land and understand the people. Each time I was in a different costume/makeup so people wouldn't recognize me. This worked pretty well until I had to stop at the local Gas and Go just as they were closing. I had decided to go in drag that night and was met by a very helpful young service station attendant, Willie Wrenchhead. I'm not sure if Wrenchhead is his real name or not but he did answer to Willie. Anyway, I digress. While Willie was filling up the car with gas he tried hitting on me. In fact when I went to the restroom, since I was wearing womans clothing I had to use the ladies room, I got the distinct feeling I was being watched. Sure enough ther was a hole in the wall right behind the stool.

Now before I go any further let me assure you this was the first, last and only time I plan on wearing woman's clothing. I only do so as a means of hiding my real identity. God's only knows how those women can wear them thong panties. I'm still chaffed.

Back at the car there stood Big Willie and Little Willie, if you get my meaning. It took everything I could do to jump in the car, lock the doors and beat a hasty retreat. Is Willie the only pervert you have up that a way?

Is the Sundown Cafe the place that makes that wonderful Hot Meat Sandwich with mashed potatoes and gravy? I asked Gus what that wonderful tasting meat was but all he would say is "do you expect Wolfgang Puck to tell you his secrets"? I can only guess that Wolfgang Puck is a local hockey player, correct?

Well, lunch is over, gotta go.

p.s. I'm mailing Reed an ernest money check this afternoon of $50, which I thought was a bit expensive but I understand lake property has different rules.

See you at the meeting.

[FOOT]

Ifalls, you post interested me. Is there any lake front property available on Lake Ionlywishikneitsname? As you may have guessed I'm in the market for a Lake home or year round home on a lake.

[Bobby Bass]

A nice sunny afternoon here at Lake Iwanttobethere the little bit of skim ice has long since melted under the noon day sun. Jess the paperboy didn't have much of a problem running through it this morning. Foot you bring up a few interesting questions to say the least. I'm not going to comment on your wearing of women's clothes for a disguise here. Although I think you might be going a tad to far. As for Willie Wrenchead we often thought he was a little touched but we don't rush to make judgements here as it usually takes at least 6 voting town members to make a judgement on anything. As for Willie we often thought that he leaned a little bit towards the guys so perhaps he might have seen though your disguise or perhaps you both buy from the same store? at least this one time...and by the way Wolfgang Puck is not a hockey player, he is how ever one of the better trappers in the area so perhaps that might give you a clue to the dinner you had....Ionlywishiknewitsname lake is located in a chain of lakes south of us here at Lake Iwanttobethere there is some confusion between the two as several towns that the buses go to share the same area code. You can get there on a charter or and end of the line bus. The best way is to just tie your trailer to the bus and follow it down the road, Earl who drives the Charter bus is real good at breaking the rope when he swerves pass the landing. A Fed eh... with them afternoon telephone calls some people were hoping that you might have been a banker. We can always use another banker in town. Perhaps we could get one them ATM things. We hear you can put plastic in them and they give you money back, kind of neat. We do have one of those ones that you put coin in and you get paper money back then you can go to the Pepsi machine outside of Floyd's and get a soda. You give Floyd the bottle and he gives ya a nickle then after 20 bottles you can go back to that coin machine and get a dollar back again. Golly I almost forgot it's Thursday and it's UPS day I think I have something coming in today.. Have a fine one

[Dan Thiem]

Maybe Willie just thought those size seventeen feet you got looked a bit out of place.

[Bobby Bass]

Foot Just got back from the Sundown Cafe and dinner where it was decide to cancel the Town Hall meeting and Dr. Burriem surprise birthday party with the approval of Dr. Burriem. We had 6 voting town hall people at dinner tonight and it was decide that the money from the MPLS dock dunking fine would be well spent on buying a new old replacement tire for the trailer that the Town Hall rests on. Since we did have some surface ice this morning it was thought the money would be better spent that way. I don't think that I mentioned that all of the winter town hall meetings are held on the ice. The town hall is also a 121 hole ice house. Used to 122 but when the lawyers kid fell through back a few years ago we had to seal that hole off or face a fine. It is not wasted space as we now have a place for the pull tabs ran by the fine people at Bet'em Casino. Just as soon as the ice is thick enough and the tire mounted we will have her out on the water and will announce the next Town Hall meeting. Reed said he was waiting on your check and as soon as it clears down at the Bet'em Casino he will move forward for you. Seems like Molly was to run point for you or run something for you. Looks like a few other interested cabins owners and or visitors are starting to speak that is good as we welcome everyone here at Lake Iwanttobethere. I did catch the UPS guy in time an receive my pack of Cigars of the month club from up there in Duluth. They have some boys up at the base that fly in some mighty fine cigars from time to time and it does not cost to much to join. I have a rare blend of paper, wheat and rye with a maple leaf wrap glowing at my side right now. I can't quite place my finger on the odor but it does remind me a lot of deer season. No winner on the lightning hitting the MPLS cabin yet and it is dark up there. Course they seem to only be here on the weekends and holidays. Well tomorrow is a work day for me as I am the Lake Iwanttobethere building inspector. It's a part time job but when you add all the jobs up I pretty much end up working part time. Tomorrow I have to check out the fire engine red cabin. Have nice day..

[Blaze]

Bobby - what a pleasure to read about the happenings of Lake Iwanttobethere. I had long since forgotten my cherished memories of that place. I spent a summer there with Old Lady Snaggletooth (OLS) and her son, Bucky. I was in hog heaven that summer, just wish the fishing would've been a bit better. Seems like we could only find crappies in that 3-5lb range - we never did score a 6 pounder like we'd been hearing about at Amazing Elmer's Taxidermy/Veterinary Service/Fine Dining establishment. The highlight of the summer was when Billy Digitless lost his middle, ring, and pinky fingers to a 173lb tarpon in Yellow Moose Bay while fishing with Bucky and me. We were late for getting back to the cabin for bologna sandwiches and goat cheese, so I was revvin' up the old Chris Craft 10hp Commander while Billy unhooked that little thing. Dang thing shook it's head while he was unhookin' his Shister, and it took a few fingers with it. Anyhoo, I slammed the CC in drive and accidentally clunked the tarpon in the head, so we pulled it in the boat and ate it for supper that night. Despite all the blood, Billy was pretty happy cuz now his right hand finally matched his left again after that possum incident on his Kindergarten field trip. He said he still had all the fingers he needed - one for picking and one for hitchhiking.

Foot - truth be told, you’re not the only one to build up a Jitney. I saw one quite similar to what you described, except it was built on a '62 IH grain truck frame and cab, had a converted grain box, and a '73 Pinto motor. That was the only other 11 man/3 boy truck I've ever seen. Yes sir, it was the official tour-guide vehicle at Neverland Ranch! Come to think of it, it may have been a 3 man/11 boy vehicle. Hmmm.

One last thing, Bobby - don't believe all those stories about Old Lady Snaggletooth and the human sacrifices/cannibalism. She stopped doing that years ago about the same time Old Man Snaggletooth won the Canadian Nobel Prize for Accordianship and signed up for the Peace Corps in Swinzania. Nobody's heard from him since he left, but if you look deep into Old Lady Snaggletooth's eyes and they stay uncrossed long enough, you can still see how much she "loved" him.

Good fishing. I hear you're expecting a storm soon, eh?