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Cooter

Disaster sidestepped!!!

57 posts in this topic

Anyways last night I head over to the girlfreinds house to 'talk'(her) and 'listen'(me) cuz we were having some issues. Now I love her to death although one of the 'issues' was how much time we spend together - more so, how will my hunting and fishing affect us down the road.

So I get out of the shower, grab some clothes, and head out the door. I'm a block from home when it hits me like a brick - I'm wearing my "Rather be Fishing" shirt!! Back to the house for a quick shirt change....wheewww!!! smirk.gif

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Ha! Good save!

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Should've just put a sweatshirt over and depending on how the talk went take off the other one and let that one be seen.... grin.gifblush.gifgrin.gif

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Its always the little things that will get you in the most trouble. Good save.

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Quote:

Anyways last night I head over to the girlfreinds house to 'talk'(her) and 'listen'(me) cuz we were having some issues. Now I love her to death although one of the 'issues' was how much time we spend together - more so, how will my hunting and fishing affect us down the road.

So I get out of the shower, grab some clothes, and head out the door. I'm a block from home when it hits me like a brick - I'm wearing my "Rather be Fishing" shirt!! Back to the house for a quick shirt change....wheewww!!!
smirk.gif


You're probably going about it the right way at least...

For the longest time my relationship patterns like of went like this...

Start the relationship... Total focus on the girl, and put everything else aside... Eventually that early honeymoon phase wears off, and the both of you go back to "Who you really are."

Which usually is all fine and good, so long as you're in town... But being sportsman, our passions take us out of town.

Going from being glued to the hip, to me being out running around Chippewa National Forest, I often got the "We don't get that much quality time.... What's changed... Why are you always avoiding me."

Which I wasn't... 1 weekend a month out of town, was just melo-dramaticized

Eventually things get sticky and tough, and the relationship ends because "We're different people."

****

My current relationship... From the get go she knew I was a sportsman... I explained to her that I'm going to have weekends where I'm gone... Just like how I'm going to have weekends where I'm going to "Pass" on fishing trips with the guys to spend with her.

I was "Myself" from Day One... And the only problems we had were about She and I... And not... Her, Me, and the Hobby.

And now we're engaged...

Though as she said "Go Nuts now... Because when we have kids you're not going to be able to do this much adventuring." So I'm going BONKERS... To set the precedent now.

LOL

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If she wants you to limit your time hunting and fishing (unless you do it all the time and ingore her), you should have kept the shirt on. Time for a new girlfriend.

My wife did not fish or hunt until I met her. Now she likes fishing with me and she is starting to hunt. And, when I fish "with the guys" she has no problem with it. She does her things "with the girls" too.

If she was any different, we would have never gotten married. Just my opinion, but if it is a problem now, it will be much much worse when and if you get married.

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Just my opinion, but if it is a problem now, it will be much much worse when and if you get married.


Well Put, Very wise words of wisdom. Listen to HIM!

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Ask any married man...especially after a few years of marriage.

Little issues become BIG issues. For her and him.

There will always be issues, even if you don't think so on your wedding day. But, it you have a big issue before you get married...it will be HUGE in a matter of time.

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My wife told me later that she felt like she should put on antlers and pheasant feathers during the first hunting season after we met, she couldn't understand how I could just 'abandon her'. She finally came to realize hunting was my passion and that I would be unhappy if I couldn't hunt. Now she comes to expect it and on a Sat or Sun morning during hunting season if I sleep in she asks me if I'm feeling ok!!

We have our 20 year anniversary next year.

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I second or third there comments.

Theres a time in your life (for me anyways) than just fishing and hunting by myself or my buddies. I feel it is better served "sharing" it with others like a spouse and even better a son or daughter. In the grand scheme of things, life is to short and sharing it with others is part of the big picture.

tip:

She shares and enjoys your hobbies just as much as you do hers. I'm learning the hard way and it's a two-way street in any relationship.

mr smile.gif

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This is why we have beer and garages, and beer in your garage!! smile.gif

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Most women will appreciate it if you tell them how it is with in the first week but she gets to do the same. So rather go thru "the talk" confused.gif save yourself the trouble and be honest if she dont like it she can move on before any heartbreak (her) or headache (you). And you can wear that shirt anytime you like. Unfortunatly there are a few who like to play games mad.gifand are determined to "change" a guy. I prefer to get the BS out of the way in the beginning. I guess I'm not your typical lady.

Hey Squirrel, I'll take one of those beers. laugh.gif

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"if its a problem now" - is so true. I was ingaged two years ago to a "problem". The honeymoon phase was great but my hunting and fishing was always an issue and she didnt want any part in doing those things together. I "sidestepped that disaster" when we broke up a year ago. Been dating someone now for 6 months and she lets me do whatever makes me happy - fishing, hunting, outdoors. Im more than a weekend warrior and she understood that from day 1. She'll go fishing and is showing some interest in archery but I think its mostly cuz she'd rather be outside...

In the wise word of Mr. Mi-a-g-e from the Karate Kid... "must have balance Danielson"

p.s. - a buddy of mine has a shirt that you should have worn. Across the front it has three charictures one is a drawing of a chick holding a dudes hand and under it it says "good". The next drawing is of a dude with a chick under each arm and it says "better". And the final pict is of a guy holding a fish and a pole and that one says "best".

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You need to do some compromising. I didn't do too much fishing when I met my wife (just bought my first boat last year) but I took her shore fishing a few times and she liked it. Now I have a boat and a baby girl (almost 2). My wife has a fear of water and won't go on the boat yet. We worked out where I can go fishing on Friday nights and Sundays. It gives her Saturdays for me to watch the midget and her to do what she wants. I also started working with a mortgage/investment firm so I'm gone Tuesday and Thursday nights as well sometimes. Once my daughter gets older and I can take her in the boat I'll be able to go a little more and maybe even take some trips. I would say she needs to give you time to do what you want but you have to do what she wants at times too.

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I have not ever "TOLD" my wife much. I did tell her very early on "You can tell me a lot of things, but, don't ever tell me that I can't go hunting" To date she has never told me that. Also to date I have never told her that she can't go shopping, as that is her "hunting". As long as what's good for the goose is good for the gander there should not be much of an issue. Take care and N Joy the Hunt././Jimbo

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She was fully aware of my interest in hunting and fishing long before we started dating - and if there is any heartbreak down the road it will go both ways.

The 'talk' last night went well although she expressed doubts about us being together in the long run.

How does the song go about finding a redneck woman? smirk.gif

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If she has doubts now then do both yourselfs a favor and move on.. How does the old saying go " there are plenty of fishes in the sea" Just not the sea I have been fishing haha! I am in the same boat grin.gif so to speak. I am a year and a half into the relationship now. My goal is to get my buddies wifes and or girlfriends to meet her and go out and do what ever the girls want from time to time. It seems easier said than done with how busy everyone is now days. I always day dream about being single again, Then I remind my self of all the laundry/cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping I had to do crazy.gif Single life is like fishing and once in a while you catch one grin.gif Married life means you caught a snag haha! wink.gif

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I've never posted on this site before but on this topic I had to jump in. After 11 yrs of being married to a "typical, low self-esteem, always worried about their appearance, American woman" I got a divorce and looked elsewhere, i.e., Southeast Asia. I'm not saying all of our problems are solved, but we've been married for over 3 yrs and were having our second child soon and we have yet to have a full-blown argument. Yes, we disagree but believe it or not we actually "discuss" issues and problems and solve them without fighting, usually a common sense solution. The great part of it she wants me to go fishing and hunting and participates when she can (children). She even wants to clean the fish when we come home. And, before you jump into "you just wanted a wife you could boss around" it isn't like that at all. Hey, its a great big world out there, go and check it out. wink.gif

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I don't man? I must have gotten lucky? My wife has always supported me in whatever I do/did outdoors? She even used to come with me on the trapline...of course we would have to stop at a few garage sales, etc.

She fishes with me now and then, both summer and winter, she likes fresh fish....must be the Scandinavian, almost full Norsk.

She used to hunt with me now and then when the kids were younger, we'd all go.

It's like a good deer stand I guess? You just got to keep hunting until you find the right one. And I'll tell ya...huntin for the right one is alot more fun then trying to find a good deer stand! grin.gif

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A disaster or a very comical situation depending on your point of view.

My wife sometimes insists on me going hunting or fishing just to get out of her hair. But other times I have to pay by going rummaging or worse yet Target. I hunt and fish in the woods and lakes she does it in the mall. She even has to go online and find the best spots too, and brag about her "trophies" she tracked down. So she is patient with me. Just be careful when you go to buy another rod or shotgun, and do not complain about all the shoes. For some reason we only need two rods but they need 15 pairs of shoes, 5 pairs of sandals, and so on and so on.

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She Gone!

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<----Divorced

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At first blush I'd say if she don't see the humor in the shirt....good luck. When my wife and I were dating I was very open about my outdoors actvities. She had "never" fished or shot a gun. I Slowly brought here into my hobbies and she has enjoyed them immensely. She fishes, hunts when she has time. I try to avoid the rigorous trips and try to make sure she has success when she goes (even if I play guide and I don't get as much action). I believe women want to be with the guys they choose it's just that some time we make it too dificult. The other thing I've learned is when you are with her, be there. Being home is not the same as being with your wife. (And I'm not as good at this as I should be). My last piece of advice is if you would REALLY rather be fishing.......Then you got the wrong girl.

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Well, if she's questioning your hunting and fishing time now just imagine how it will be later. WARNING

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I've got it good... My GF is also my best fishing buddy.

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